These days, it is very common to find moms feeling frazzled. Unfortunately there are those who perpetuate the belief that feeling frazzled or having a chaotic lifestyle is just part of the job. This is simply not so! Of course, there will be days when things are chaotic — but they should never be the rule in our homes or our lives!
Here are 9 tips for moving from chaos to peace. You’ll want to use this list as a starting point, evaluating your own home, routines, habits, and schedules to see what you might add or subtract to make the list your own!
1. Maintain your focus.
Focus on Christ — not the waves. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Spend time in God’s word, fueling up for the day.
Busyness Instead of Fruitfulness
We are certainly busy. But are our lives fruitful?
2. Strive for order.
Chaos is not a normal state of being. If you are feeling that life is a bit more chaotic than usual, that is typically a signal that something is out of order and needs changed.
A wonderful mentor once said that God will leave us feeling uncomfortable to get our attention and know that there is something that needs our attention. Ignoring that still, small voice will not make the problem go away — but only exacerbate it as we search in every direction for the answer but the correct place!
When reading books and literature that portray a non-chaotic homelife reviewers will frequently express the idea that the portrayal is too idyllic — meaning their own life will never look like that. But that doesn’t mean it can’t!
Striving for order is a step-by-step, one-change-at-a-time determination to address those things that are out of order. Not surprisingly, these changes will likely start with us.
3. Set your priorities.
One obvious place to start is to create a list of those things that are priorities for you and your family. Write your list down on paper.
Once you have a clear view of your priorities it will be easier to quickly evaluate new projects and opportunities to see if they fit your goals.
Prioritizing
If I am too busy, frazzled, or out of sorts, then perhaps my priorities need to be examined. Perhaps I have taken on some things that were not on my priority list.
4. Maintain a routine.
We all move better with structure. Children in particular need the security of routine. Create a schedule that works for you. It DOES NOT have to be a schedule that is itemized down to the minute. While that will be the best choice for some of us, others of us will prefer to work in blocks of time or move down a list of routine activities.
Whatever it may look like for you, develop your routine. Your family, and especially your children, will appreciate it!
5. Develop good habits.
In order for a routine to be established, good habits will need to be developed. So much of our day runs on the rails that we put down by our day-by-day routines.
Work on upgrading habits that need attention one habit at a time.
10 Ideas for Overcoming Lazy Habits
It usually sneaks up on us, perhaps as a result of a temporary illness, or change in routine. Before we know it we have assumed lazy habits.
Smooth and Easy Days {Free eBook on Habits}
Developing good habits start with … us.
6. Enforce discipline.
If there is no discipline in your home, things will certainly look chaotic!
Discipline typically starts with Mom. If you are undisciplined in your actions and activities, you can expect your children to act similarly. Conversely, if you practice discipline in your own life, your children will tend to exercise discipline in theirs.
20 Tips for Staying Organized
With this list we try to offer up ideas that move us toward discipline, but not at the expense of the fullness of life — something many homeschool moms find themselves giving up in order to keep up!
7. Think seasons.
There is a season for everything. When I left the corporate world to stay home with our children, I knew that what I was doing was the correct thing at the correct time — despite the opinions of those around me who questioned my “giving up” all that I had worked so hard for.
During our first fledgling years of homeschooling I was still in “corporate” mode, Type A oozing from the pores. One of the places I put my energy was in writing a homeschool program. It didn’t take long to realize that although I had chosen to stay home and raise my children — I still wasn’t HOME! They didn’t have my attention, the code did. In the end, I turned the program over to my husband who produced something that I ended up using throughout our homeschool years. And my attention was where it needed to be.
When we have young children at home, we are fooling ourselves if we think we can pour our energy into anything but them. Not that we need to cut off our personalities and selves and sacrifice who we are to homeschool. Our children need us — all of us. But homeschooling (raising children!) is a full-time job.
Trust me, there will be time to pursue those entrepreneurial interests in another season.
If you have any doubts about where your energies are chiefly being used, record the time you spend on activities throughout your day for one entire week. For every half-hour time slot write down what you are spending your time on. At the end of the week, you will be able to see at a glance what is really important to you — no matter what you say!
The Cure to Being Overwhelmed
If we really stop to consider how we spend our time, what makes up every single minute of our day, we might surprise ourselves at how far we stray from our purpose.
8. Stay home.
One obvious place where chaos reigns is in our outside-the-home activities. Some of these are planned, others are the necessary day-by-day appointments, still others are obligatory meetings. Whatever the case, if you and your family are feeling frazzled, scale back.
- Learn to say “no.”
- Don’t let anyone else set the agenda for you or your family.
- Make sure your children are getting to bed at the same time each night (and that usually means a sacrifice will be necessary to make it happen).
- See that everyone sits down to meals together at the same time.
- Make home the island of refuge, the safe spot, the calm oasis where everyone can return to unwind after time away.
9. Find time to recharge.
There are times when chaos reigns simply because we do not have the energy to fight it. Take time to recharge your batteries each day. Implement a “reading time” when young and old alike can spend time in the day resting. The youngest can quietly look at books or have one quiet toy to play with. Others can read books from their literature reading list.
Don’t let this time be used for catching up on things. Use it to rest. Interestingly, in the end, it takes far less time catching up when you have spent time resting.
Additional Resources
Step 7: Smart Scheduling
Your schedule will be a guide you will follow in your efforts to meet your goals when things go as smooth as a well-oiled engine…and when the train runs off the track!
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